


Playing House

by mcschnuggles



Series: Schnugg's Regressuary 2020 [21]
Category: Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Caregiver!Haruhi, Caregiver!Kyoya, Fluff, Gen, Non-Sexual Age Play, Regressing!Tamaki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22961272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcschnuggles/pseuds/mcschnuggles
Summary: Haruhi is invited to spend the weekend with the rest of the Host Club.
Series: Schnugg's Regressuary 2020 [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621609
Comments: 21
Kudos: 117
Collections: Regressuary, Regressuary 2020





	1. Chapter 1

Haruhi is sure that nothing the Host Club does will surprise her anymore.

Then comes Tuesday.

After the Host Club closes for the evening, Kyoya asks her to stay for an “official club meeting.” Never mind that they’ve never once had a meeting in the time she’s been with them, that Kyoya handles everything and glares at them for even suggesting they should be involved.

She only gets more nervous when she sees it’s just the two of them. “Kyoya-senpai,” she greets. With the music room empty, and the only sounds being that of Kyoya’s shoes clicking against the tiles, she can’t help but feel she’s meeting with the yakuza.

“Haruhi. Thank you for coming.” He sits on the couch opposite of her. “We have much to discuss.”

Haruhi straightens her shoulders, sure to put on her best attentive listening face before letting him get started.

“As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Tamaki is rather fond of treating our Host Club like a little family.” He pauses, his mouth quirking in distaste. Whatever more he had to say, he doesn’t find it worth it to continue, so instead, he gets to the point. “Are you familiar with age regression, Haruhi?”

“Huh?” It clicks in her brain, and she smiles. “Yeah! I’ve read about that for Advanced Psychology. To be fair, it was a little more extra-curricular than anything, but I know about it!”

Kyoya blinks, clearly not expecting that answer. “Well, excellent. I suppose I won’t need this, then.” He produces a pamphlet from his clipboard and places it on the table between them.

The title reads _AGE REGRESSION AND YOU: THE BASICS OF CARING FOR A FRIEND WHO IS OCCASIONALLY A THREE-YEAR-OLD._

“To cut to the chase, Tamaki regresses.”

“Oh.” While she’s a little surprised, she can’t say she didn’t expect it. Tamaki-senpai has always acted a little childish. Her mind flashes back to that time in the garden, where they were hiding and got lost in the roses. His smile was so pure than. Was he regressed then, too?

“Speak of the devil.” Kyoya gives a fond shake. “It’s been quite the day, hasn’t it?”

Tamaki shuffles his way over, not even giving Haruhi a second glance as he flops dramatically into Kyoya’s lap. Hikaru and Kaoru trail behind him, much to Haruhi’s surprise. Do they know about this too? For how long?

“He can get overwhelmed easily on busier days.” Kyoya explains. “As much as he laps up the attention, sometimes it can be a little too much when he’s surrounded by girls with overtly romantic interests.”

“Yeah, sometimes what he needs is just a little parental affection from his mama.” Hikaru teases. He pinches Tamaki’s cheek, causing Tamaki to pout and pull away.

Kyoya doesn’t even offer them a glance. “If you two insist on staying here to annoy him, the least you could do is tidy up.”

“We’re _babysitters_!” Kaoru protests, trying his best to feign offense. “We’re doing you a favor, Kyoya-senpai.”

Kyoya cracks a grin. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“So do you need me to keep an eye out for this?” Haruhi gestures vaguely between the two of them. Somewhere in the middle of their conversation, Tamaki had wormed his way into Kyoya’s lap and is dozing contentedly, his arms around Kyoya’s neck.

“Not quite.” Kyoya answers. “On the contrary, Tamaki approached me about inviting you to one of our ‘family days,’ as it were. This Saturday. There’s no pressure on you to accept of course. I believe he wants to go to one of those commoner malls nearby and look at the toys.”

_So basically they’re going to get lost without me_ , Haruhi thinks.

Mentally she runs down her list of chores set aside from the weekend. She doesn’t have much cleaning to do, aside from the dishes, and she always does the grocery shopping on Sunday because of her coupon deals, so apart from homework, she really has nothing too pressing. It wouldn’t hurt to spend a Saturday with the Host Club.

Famous last words, she supposes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Must a story have conflict? Isn't it enough to be simple and cutesy?
> 
> Legit sorry to anyone who waited 10 months for this lol

Kyoya at least has the good grace to give her some sort of warning.

Mind you, it’s not much of a warning. In fact, the text he sends her reads “we’ll be outside your apartment in two minutes.”

Haruhi takes a deep breath, forcing herself to be calm. It’s going to be a long, long day if she isn’t, and she’ll need the patience. At the very least, Tama-chan seems rather quiet while regressed, but that doesn’t say anything to the good behavior of the others.

She has time to put together her shopping list, get together a small sum of money, and take her place waiting by the road, just in time for a familiar limo to come rolling up.

Haruhi ducks her head, but she knows it’s no use. She can already hear the neighbors muttering, wondering who the visiting “celebrities” are, and even if she wasn’t plainly waiting for them, it doesn’t take a detective to piece together it’s most likely the rich kids from her school.

“ _Haruhi!_ ”

The limo hasn’t even stopped before Tama-chan is flying out, pulling Haruhi into a bear hug and sweeping her off her feet.

Despite herself, she laughs. And here she’d been worried that Tama-chan wouldn’t like her. The shyness from last time she saw him is wholly nonexistent. “Hi there.” She feels some of that building irritation fade. It’s hard to be upset when someone’s hugging you so sweetly.

“You came!”

The Hitachiin twins lean out of the car, looking nothing short of teenage supermodels, right down to their terminally bored expressions.

“Of course she agreed.” Hikaru says.

“Mama didn’t give her much of a choice.” Kaoru adds.

“Hiya, Haru-chan!” Honey chirps. A tiny hand pops up from behind the twins and waves furiously. Mori’s much larger hand appears a moment later.

Haruhi doesn’t have much of a choice, does she? She’d been planning on either calling a cab or borrowing someone’s bike, but she doubts the Host Club would let her, especially Tama-chan. Does he get attached to everyone he meets this quickly? No wonder Kyoya tries to keep him to a confined group.

“Haru sits by me!” Tama-chan announces to no one in particular. He takes the window seat for himself, slotting Haruhi between him and Kyoya.

“He’s quite the leader, isn’t he?” Kyoya teases. “He knows exactly what he wants.”

Before Haruhi can answer, Tama-chan’s fingers thread through hers and hold tight, and any sarcasm dies on her lips.

“About time you got to see our limo.” Hikaru says, his head buried in his phone. After a moment, the limo shifts into drive.

Haruhi ducks her head, trying to avoid making eye contact with all her bewildered neighbors, but Tama-chan has no such reservations. He greets them all with wide-eyed fascination, even waving at some of them.

The ride to the mall is relatively quiet. Aside from Honey, who’s more than happy to make conversation, and Tama-chan, who is utterly fascinated looking out the window, everyone else is tapping away at their phones. It’s a rich person thing, Haruhi supposes. That, and she’s not going to pass up a bit of quiet time before what she expects to be pure unbridled chaos.

The mall is crowded with people when they arrive. Huge groups are constantly filtering in and out, and it makes Haruhi’s stomach turn just looking at it. A big crowd is one thing, but a big crowd with a little kid is an entirely different beast. She’s seen the Host Club fawn over commoner places before, so she imagines it’ll probably be like that with more crying.

The sheer volume of people only makes Tama-chan more excited. He squeezes Haruhi’s hand, and while it hurts, she doesn’t have the heart to call him out on it. If it weren’t for her, he probably would’ve jumped out of the limo and made a break for it.

“Tama-chan.” Kyoya chides. He puts his phone away to look Tama-chan in the eyes. “What are the rules?”

Tama-chan pouts, his leg bouncing impatiently. “Stay with the group. No wandering away. Good manners.”

“And what’s the new rule?”

“Listen to Haruhi.”

“Very good.” Kyoya praises. He pulls some money from his wallet and hands it over. “Use that to buy one of those bears you like so much. I have some business to attend to but I’ll find you in a few hours.” Even he can’t fight a smile as Tama-chan pulls him into a giant thank-you hug, which Haruhi has the misfortune of being smushed in between.

“I’ve never seen Kyoya-senpai so motherly before.” Haruhi comments as they pile out of the car. She keeps her voice low, just in case his good mood only extends to Tamaki.

Mori has already wandered in another direction, with Honey on his shoulders so he doesn’t get trampled by the crowd. Kyoya walks in the same direction, leaving just her, Tama-chan, and the twins.

“Yeah, Boss has a way of doing that to him.” Hikaru says. From the way they’re leaning on each other, they clearly have no intention of going their separate ways. Is it really that much fun to bother Tama-chan?

“I’m surprised he even let Tama-chan out of his sight.” Kaoru comments.

“It’s because he trusts Haruhi more than us.” Hikaru replies.

Haruhi rolls her eyes. “I couldn’t imagine why.”

“Where are we doing, Haru?” Tama-chan asks. He looks at her with wide-eyed reverence, like she’s the most interesting girl in the universe.

“Well, I just have to do a little shopping, but I can’t imagine that’ll be too fun.” Then again, that might be better to do before he’s tired and grumpy. But it could always be an option to leave him with the twins on a bench somewhere.

Tamaki’s eyes go wide, like she’s just proposed an adventure. “Wanna go with Haru!”

Haruhi blinks back her surprise. “Oh, okay. Hold my hand so you don’t get lost, alright?”

With just as much enthusiasm, he latches onto her hand, and she tries not to look completely embarrassed. It doesn’t help when she can feel the twins bearing down from behind them. There’s only a beat before they start up.

“Haruhi, I never took you to be so good with kids.” Hikaru comments.

Haruhi shrugs. “The families in my apartment building always ask me to babysit. It’s not that hard.”

“Haruhi and Tama-chan sitting in a tree~” Kaoru singsongs.

“I wonder how hard it’d be to lose them in a crowd.” Haruhi mutters. 

The twins stick a little further behind, but they’re never out of sight or earshot. Sometimes Haruhi pretends like they are, just so she doesn’t have to deal with their comments. It turns out they’re having way more fun teasing her than they are Tama-chan.

For the most part, Tama-chan is lost in his own little world, taking in the sights and the people as much as he can. She doesn’t know why she was ever surprised. Tamaki-senpai’s always been fascinated with the most mundane things. Following her around while she shops must feel like a field trip. Every so often, he’ll tug on her sleeve with his free hand, saying “Haru, Haru, look!”

He’s pointed out the merry-go-round more than once, so Haruhi thinks it might be a good idea to ride it once most of her shopping is finished.

Her dad wants her to pick up a couple brands of makeup he’s running out of, and she wants a couple odds and ends that might help her fix the leak under the sink, but it’s easier to start with the beauty products. Makeup places always give her a headache, and her dad has to give her very specific instructions, usually with pictures, about what brands and colors to buy.

Haruhi scans the aisles, looking for the right brand— _why are there so many? It’s all the same colors anyway_ —while the twins are busy flirting with the girl working the door. From what Haruhi could hear before she gently guided Tama-chan out of earshot, they’d charmed her into modeling a few lipsticks for them.

Tama-chan tilts his head in confusion. “For Haru?” he asks, pointing to the eye shadow palette she’s holding.

“Oh, no, it’s not for me. I’m just getting this for my dad.”

Tamaki nods in understanding, but his brow is still furrowed in thought. “What’s that?”

Haruhi looks where he’s pointing and immediately feels out of her depth. “I think it’s foundation?”

Tama-chan nods again. “Haru’s smart,” he says, like that removes any doubt in her he might have.

They continue shopping easily enough. Haruhi has to resort to her photo references more than once, but by the time they’ve made their second lap around the store, she’s fairly certain she has everything she needs.

“Haru?” Tamaki taps her shoulder, showing her the small bottle of silver nail polish he’s holding. “Can get?”

“Sure, just make sure to pay for it, okay?” She’s not sure if he needs those kinds of reminders, but she’d rather deal with it now than have to explain to a security guard why her teenage friend is acting like a little kid.

Tama-chan frowns, taking the money Kyoya had given him from his pocket. His brow is furrowed in intense deliberation.

Ah, it makes sense that Tamaki wouldn’t be allowed access to his own money while he’s regressed. A rich kid is one thing, but a rick kid with the mind of a toddler is an entirely different ballgame altogether. She wonders how many spending disasters had to happen before Kyoya started talking away his credit cards.

“Hey, it’s just a couple bucks.” Haruhi says. “I’ll get it for you, don’t worry about it.”

Tama-chan’s eyes grow wide with admiration. If anything, she’s only become all the more amazing in his eyes. “Haru is the best,” he says, his voice breathless.

“It’s no big deal.” She tries to wave him off, but before she can say anything more, Tamaki wraps her up into a bone-crushingly tight hug.

“Haru is the _best_ ,” he repeats.

“You’re welcome.” She lifts a shaky hand to pat his back, and thankfully, he lets her go after a few seconds. It’s an effort not to visibly gasp for breath once she’s free. She doesn’t want to hurt Tama-chan’s feelings, but she’s not sure if she’ll be able to survive another one of his hugs with all her ribs intact. 

Hikaru and Kaoru are still flirting with the girl at the door. It’s not like either of them are actually interested in her, but she is providing a fun distraction. Haruhi doubts she and Tama-chan could’ve put so much distance between them and the twins if they weren’t some degree of entertained by whatever game they’re playing.

She pushes back the spike of annoyance. Kyoya-senpai trusts her more with Tama-chan than either of the boys, so she doesn’t get why they’re sticking so close. Honestly, it would be less work if they just went off in the same direction as the others, but they seem weirdly intent on hovering.

Haruhi pays for the items, barely thinking twice about threading her fingers through Tama-chan’s. She wouldn’t want him to get lost, after all.

She puts a finger to her lips and smiles, and while confused, Tama-chan repeats the action as he follows her to the exit.

Neither twin so much as glances up, allowing Haruhi and Tama-chan to slip out of the store. She checks over her shoulder, confirming that Hikaru and Kaoru have yet to notice their absence.

Tama-chan snickers as he realizes what they’re doing. “Playin’ hide and seek,” he says.

“Exactly!” A sudden thought strikes her. “How about we go get a treat before we go to another store?” After all, the boys would be expecting her to keep shopping. Might as well give them a run for their money too.

Tama-chan nods excitedly, so they quickly single out a confectionary and get a pair of cake pops. It’s a good thing Tama-chan is so conservative with his money, because his eyes linger on just about every sweet he sees.

The two of them grab a seat by a small fountain.

“Thank you,” Tama-chan says quietly, his cheeks burning a faint pink.

“Anytime.” As long as she doesn’t have to brave another thank-you hug, she’s more than happy to buy things for him.

Dare she say it, Tama-chan is actually _fun_ to be around. It’s nice to see him so happy. He feels so innocent, so open. It kind of reminds her of the day they spent with the journalism club, when they were hiding in the hedge maze together. Had Tamaki been regressed then too?

Tamaki nibbles on the edges, as if he’s trying to savor every little bite he can. Haruhi follows suit. She’s never been the biggest fan of sweet things anyway. It’s not like she hates sweets—even if she did, the sheer amount of cake Honey makes her share with him would’ve built her tolerance months ago—but it does take her a while to get through them.

They nibble in silence, and Haruhi takes the time to look at the passersby. She’s always loved people watching, even if she doesn’t have much time to do so. Usually she has a place she needs to be, or she simply can’t find the sense in sticking around doing nothing.

It’s kind of nice to just have a moment to slow down, where she can watch people and pick out which people are couples and which are only friends, which groups have a clear leader and which ones don’t, even which families have been shopping the longest, just from the looks on their faces.

“How’s the cake pop, Tama-chan?” she asks, turning to face nothing but open air.

Suddenly she realizes she’s alone.

Forcing herself to stay calm, she checks behind her, hoping to see a tall blonde head poking about the crowd to no avail. It seems like Tama-chan has played the exact same trick on her that they played on the twins.

She has to think strategy. Keeping calm is the most important thing, but also thinking like Tama-chan. That shouldn’t be hard. He likes sweets and teddy bears and from what she’s seen, not much else.

She’ll try some of the toy shops first, and if he’s nowhere to be found, she’ll make an announcement. She tries not to think about how Kyoya-senpai might react if he finds out she lost Tama-chan. This is probably something that happens a lot, but she’d prefer to avoid testing Kyoya’s limits if she can.

Mindful of foot traffic, Haruhi weaves through the crowd. It’s risky, having to keep an eye on the people and the stores without colliding into anyone, but she’d rather carve a clear path before she has to do any backtracking.

It doesn’t take long for her to finally come across a familiar face, but unfortunately for her, it’s the exact opposite of the one she’s looking for.

Hikaru and Kaoru are standing off to the side of the walkway, avoiding the majority of the crowd as they tap away on their phones. They haven’t noticed her yet, but at the same time, they’re not looking. She passes by quickly, making no moves to draw any attention to herself, and manages to pass by them without incident. The last thing she needs is the twins knowing she let Tama-chan wander off. Lord knows they’d never let her live it down.

Haruhi stops at the first toy store she sees, the inside of the store bright with pastel pinks and blues

The store window is lined with stuffed animals, but the one that catches her eye especially is the row of teddy bears. Tamaki loves teddy bears, regressed or not, so if he’d wandered in this direction, there’s no doubt in her mind that he found this store.

As she approaches, she’s almost blinded by the interior, all whites and pinks and pastel blues. Just looking at it is enough to give her a headache, but there’s no doubt in her mind she’s on the right track.

It’s a pastel nightmare, and it’s her best bet.

She enters, politely but quickly brushing off the salesperson that greets her, and almost immediately she finds who she’s looking for.

There he is, standing innocently with a teddy bear in his hands. It’s the same one from the window, with a big blue bow on the top of its head.

The surge of relief Haruhi feels negates any will she had to scold him. “There you are. Were you thinking of buying him?”

Tamaki nods. “For Haru,” he explains.

“For me?” she repeats.

Tama-chan nods, holding out the teddy bear like he expects her to take it for herself. “Cuz you’re nice!”

“Aww, I can’t let you buy that for me.” Haruhi politely pushes the bear back against his chest. From the way his fingers and clinging to it, the last thing he wants to do is let go. “You should keep him for yourself!”

Tama-chan grins, trying to be polite, but he can’t school the relief out of his expression, only confirming that Haruhi made the right decision.

“ _There_ they are,” a familiar voice says from behind them. Haruhi doesn’t have time to react before two identical elbows are weighing down on each shoulder.

“Y’know, if we didn’t know any better…” Hikaru begins.

“We’d think you’d ditched us.” Kaoru finishes. While the pair of them are sporting their usual devilish grins, there’s no malice in it.

“It’s hide-and-seek!” Tama-chan pipes up. “You guys are bad at it.”

“Yeah, because we didn’t know we were playing.” Hikaru answers. “We just turned around and both of you were gone.”

“All we wanted to do was spend time with our favorite little tyke, too.” Kaoru says, putting a dramatic hand to his forehead.

Tama-chan gasps. “We should buy them cake pops too!”

“ _And_ you had cake pops without us?” Kaoru gasps. He braces himself against Haruhi’s shoulder, like the heartache caused by this realization is enough to bring him to his knees.

“For shame, Haruhi!” Hikaru teases.

“There’s no way I’m buying you two cake pops.” Haruhi mutters, ducking out from under their arms. The sudden movement almost makes Hikaru topple over, but she can’t find it in herself to by sympathetic.

“My heart may never recover.” Hikaru quips, holding up his phone. “But Mama Kyo finished his stuff and wants his baby back, so we better get going.”

“I’ll meet up with you guys later.” Haruhi says. “I still have other shopping to do.”

“We’re leaving Haru?” Tama-chan asks, his lip jutting out in a pout. Haruhi spots the telltale signs of a meltdown almost immediately.

And much to her surprise, the twins look at a total loss for words. They share a single, panicked look. Their mouths are open, poised like they’re _about_ to say something, but Haruhi gets the sense that they have nothing to say until _after_ Tama-chan has worked himself up into a tizzy.

She does the only thing she can think to do and takes Tama-chan’s new teddy out of his lax grip and holds it in front of her face, shaking it around like it’s dancing.

“Hey, it’s okay! No tears, alright? Teddy doesn’t want you to be sad!”

Tama-chan sniffles. “Come with?” He’s begging, and with the puppy eyes in full-force, Haruhi almost agrees. If it weren’t for the leaky pipe under the sink being a rather pressing issue, she might have.

“Well, I do have to pick up a couple more things, but you’re my ride home, remember?” she reminds him. She cups his cheek for good measure, and just as she suspected, he leans eagerly into the touch.

Tama-chan immediately brightens up. “Yeah! Haru doesn’t have a choice!”

A grimace immediately takes over her expression as her hand falls limply to her side. “Well, that’s one way to put it.”

“I spy with my little eye, Haru-chan!” a familiar voice chirps. Honey beams and waves from his vantage point on Mori’s shoulders. The saleswoman has to double take as Mori ducks into the store. Kyoya isn’t far behind them.

“There you are.” Kyoya grins, the kindness in his expression overshadowing any lingering concern. He glances to Haruhi. “I hope he wasn’t too much trouble.”

“No worries. I had fun.” That being said, she’s not sure if she’ll have the energy for one of these excursions for a long time to come.

“Excellent.” Kyoya slips a handful of money into her hands. “For your troubles. I know how he can be with his purchases.”

It’s a little more than Tama-chan spent, but Haruhi figures he doesn’t need to know that.

“Haru’s coming back.” Tama-chan informs the others. He speaks with the unique pride children have when telling adults something new. “Cuz we’re her ride home!”

Kyoya chuckles. “I see you’ve got a new friend. Have you decided on a name yet?”

“Uh-uh, Haru gets to name it!”

Kyoya grins. Behind him, Mori and Honey are looking at the stuffed animals as well, and if Honey’s expression is anything to go by, Tama-chan isn’t the only one bringing home a new friend. “Is that so?”

“I’ll name them when I get back.” Haruhi promises.

Kyoya claps his hands together, and for a split second, Haruhi can almost see him as a preschool teacher. “Excellent. Well then, I believe a certain little one has earned some ice cream,” Kyoya says. “Take your new friend up to the counter and we’ll be on our way.”

Honey cheers, leading Tama-chan by the hand up to the counter. The twins follow along, something that Haruhi only realizes is intentional until after she’s alone in the aisle with Kyoya.

“Thank you, Haruhi.” Kyoya says, his voice unexpectedly earnest. “Tamaki won’t say it himself, but I can already tell how much this day with you meant. Apologies for leaving you high and dry, but I thought the solo bonding would be good for him, and I never doubted your abilities for a second.” He winks. “Including your abilities to shake off the entourage.”

So it was his plan from the start, wasn’t it? He had this whole thing planned out from the start and Haruhi walked right into his plan. Had the twins actually not been paying attention, or were they part of the plan too?

“Do come along again, won’t you?” Kyoya says on his way out, not bothering for a response. Mori trails close behind, holding an oversized stuffed bunny in each arm. The twins are also holding one each. Would those be Honey’s purchases?

Haruhi can only sit in stunned silence as they leave. It’s hard not to attract stares as a group of six high school boys all toting stuffed animals, but the boys walk with a confidence that almost makes them blend in.

She can’t believe she walked right into that. She can’t believe that Kyoya had this planned from the start.

But crazier than that, she can’t believe it doesn’t even matter.

Because if Tama-chan is happy, then so is she.


End file.
